Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Man Breaks Into Woman's Home To Frame Husband For Child Pornography

This is a story that is just quite creepy to be honest. Ilkka Karttunen, 48 was originally from Finland, but was until recently living in Southend, Essex. That is until recently when he was arrested for quite a strange crime.


He had been obsessing over a female colleague at work. But the slight problem he had was that she was already married. Now most people would give up at this point, but not Ilkka, he took it one step too far.

He decided to break into the woman's home while she was sleeping, and download child pornography onto his computer. He then went one step further and stole the hard drive and mailed it to the police.

Now the poor man who cannot be named for safety reasons couldn't see his children, and had to endure abuse for what he was accused of. Terrible story because of what one nutter decided to do.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Woman Robs A Bank Because She Wanted To Do It Before She Died

Patricia Edwards, 51 (Pictured) is a little bit unlucky in life. She has been suffering all her life with bi-polar disorder, and also is now suffering from non-terminal leukaemia.


However, knowing time is against her, she decided that she would live her life and attempt to do everything she wanted to before she died.

She decided she wanted to rob a bank, and so one day, purely on impulse walked into a bank in Florida and handed the cashier a note demanding money. She was picked up by the police 3 days later, and although she said she wasn't taking her medication and she regrets it, she is being held on a $20,000 bond.

So the lesson here, although there are plenty of things we all want to do before we die, lets not do the stupid ones yeh?

Monday, 29 March 2010

Man Attempts To Evade Police By Breaking Into A Prison

Ricky Flowers, 20 (Pictured) is quite possibly going to be cast in the next Jim Carrey movie. His story is about as ridiculous as one of those.


He was pulled over by the police in a somewhat routine stop, however, knowing fully well that he was driving on a suspended licence he fled the scene.

Then some sort of high speed car chase followed, which eventually ended in him abandoning the vehicle and fleeing on foot.

Here, he thought a great way to get away from the police would be to scale a 30 foot fence (something quite impressive if you ask me). However, when he dropped down to the other side, it just so happened he had broken into a women's prison.

Clever yes?

Saturday, 27 March 2010

73 Year Old Woman Literally Drives Through Pizza Hut

A 73 year old woman has pretty much proven here why the elderly shouldn't be allowed to drive.


When trying to park her car in the pizza hut car park at approximately 8:30pm, she "accidentally" pressed the accelerator instead of the break, and crashed straight through into the pizza hut.

In doing so she managed to hit two children, 9 and 11, collapsing the lung of one of them.

Well done elderly drivers.

Man Installs Flame Thrower On The Back Of His Scooter

This man has got to be possibly one of the coolest you will ever hear about, and to make matters worse, apparently the police have a problem with this.


Mr Furze, 30 had a little bit of a problem. He hated tailgater's, which is a fair enough point, because on a scooter it could be quite dangerous for someone to bump you slightly.

So what did the man do? he fitted a flame-thrower to the back of his scooter, operated by the flick of a button on his scooter.

This was his third attempt at the project, the first one not igniting properly. The second set his scooter on fire, and on the third and final attempt he finally managed to create this masterpiece.

However, the police have arrested him and he could potentially be charged with possession of a firearm. Something which could have a maximum prison sentence of 5 years. Yikes!

Friday, 26 March 2010

Drunk Man Tries To Revive A Dead Possum

This is post number 100 on Random News Daily, and i think this is a very fitting way to celebrate it. While the story may be short and sweet, it is also hilarious. Which is what we like here.


Donald Wolfe, 55, who should be old enough to handle his alcohol by now, has been arrested and charged with public drunkenness after number passers by saw the man trying to revive a dead possum.

The police report doesn't state how he was trying to revive the possum. I would like think he was going with full on mouth to mouth on the dead creature, however, who knows.

Humiliation wins in this story.

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Teenager Begs Clerk 'Not To Tell Mum' About His Botched Robbery

Here is one kid who obviously knows he is in the wrong. Or maybe even better he has one tough ass mother who will sort him out if she finds out what he has been doing.

The child, wandered around a convenience store a few times, and then finally decided on a few items. As the clerk began to ring them up he tried to sneak around the back of the store clerk.

He was doing so with a knife in hand with the intention of holding it up against the guy's throat. However, the 'Chuck Norris' style clerk spun around and punched the kid in the face.

He then fell to the floor, shouted out 'please don't tell me mum' before running away.

Manly.

Full Story Here

Man Arrested For Stripping Down To A Thong In Wal-Mart

Norward Smith Burnes, 51 is not your typical stripper. He is far from buff and far from in his prime. However, he still thought it necessary to strip off.


Wearing what can only be described as a women's suit, high heels and full make-up, he was parading around Walmart pretending to be a women. Fair enough, everyone has their own idea of fun and that.

However, things become a bit more serious, when he decides to go into the women's restroom and start stripping off. This is bad enough except their were also kids there.

He stripped down himself to just a white girdle and dark thong underwear. Obviously not the best move in the world. He is now being charged with public indecency.

Armed Robbery Takes Places For Food, Not Money

3 Armed men have recently stormed their local Taco Bell restaurant. They stormed into the restaurant late at night with weapons, but didn't demand money, instead they just demanded food.

They pulled up into the drive thru and then when the clerk was taking their order, one of them pulled a hand gun on the girl. He then demanded some food.

The clerk, obviously taken aback gave in to the robbers demands, and gave them about $5 of fried apples, and then they drove away.

My opinion. Surely if you are willing to accept the consequences of going to jail for armed robbery, money should be your first thought?

Full Story Here

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Off Duty Cop Shoots Himself In The Ass


A police officer in for the University of Illinois has now got one hell of an embarrassing story to tell round the dinner table.


Whilst off duty cops are allowed to carry weapons, it therefore means it is extremely unlikely he will face prosecution for this. However, i think he has suffered enough.

Whilst in a supermarket he had a gun down the back of his trousers. From here the gun trigger appears to have got caught on his shirt or something. This resulted in it accidentally discharging into his buttocks.

I guess next time the guy will keep it in his holster as opposed to in his waistband. But you never know, he might not learn his lesson

Teenage Girl Sacked From Her Job Over Facebook


A teenage girl has now become what i am going to call the ultimate act of cowardice. Now it is bad enough dumping your girlfriend over facebook, but to get fired over it, that is rough.


The 16 year old girl was working in a coffee shop in Manchester, and was given £10 out of the till drawer to go and buy biscuits. Now she claimed to have lost the money on the way to the shops, probably true but also possibly stolen, who knows.

Then when she got back to work, the other employee told the manager, who in turn decided to sack her.

Completely overrating if you ask me, but then again, in this day and age apparently you can get fired for anything.

2 Bank Robbers Call Bank In Advance To 'Prepare' Cash

Albert Bailey, 27 (Pictured) and an unnamed 16 year accomplice have quite possibly got to be two of the dumbest people around. Although they did have some sort of vague logic to their plan.


The biggest problem with robbing a bank, is that it takes too long for the cashier to put the money into the bags, meaning a quick getaway isn't easy.

Therefore Mr Bailey and his friend came up with a brilliant plan. Ten minutes before the entered the bank they decided to ring up, and tell them to have the money ready.

However, without any sort of threatening behaviour, the cashier didn't hesitate to call the police, who were there ready and waiting for them when they arrived in the bank's car park.

Failed.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Fake Game Of Russian Roulette Results In Man Getting Shot

We all know exactly how it happens, you are at a wedding in Russia, it is your turn to make a speech, and then you decide to lighten the mood a little bit by holding a gun to your head.


However, the secret is that you know that the gun is not loaded. Therefore, a game of Russian roulette that you are guaranteed to survive.

However, after holding it to your own head, you then decide to pass it to another grooms man, except when he pulls the trigger, a rubber bullet fires out causing a near fatal head wound.

The bullet has been removed, but the man is said to be in a very poor condition. You can see a video of the event below, which may not be suitable to everyone to watch;



4 Teenagers Steal Pizza At Gun Point Ending In A SWAT Seige

Two male teenagers, 19 and two female teenagers of unknown ages have shown to the world just how good a pizza can be. The pizza's at Sicily's in Anchorage, Alaska must possible be the best in the world. Some may say even worth going to jail for.

As one of the delivery drivers was trying to give someone their food, he was robbed at gunpoint of his pizza's, by the 4 teenagers. However, they made no attempt to steal his money at all, and just went for the pizza's.

The thieves weren't the brightest though, and the delivery driver followed them back to their house, where he then called the police. However, when they refused to come out as they wanted to finish the pizza. They called the SWAT teams in.

The SWAT team then broke down the doors and arrested them, leaving them all facing pretty serious charges and possible jail time.

Full Story Here

2 Armed Robbers Break Into The Wrong House

Two men, Frank Kincaid and Thomas Lucas have got to be two of the worst criminals i have heard of. They appear to be doing a bad rendition of a Home Alone movie.


The two men, armed with a tire iron and a silver handgun respectively intended to burgle a man, but instead mixed up the addresses and ended up in the house of a woman who was babysitting her sisters children.

The woman naturally tried to prevent the two men getting in, and injured her arm in the process, but luckily was hurt no further.

Police have arrested both men now, and they are facing burglary charges and being held without bond.

Unlucky guys...


Monday, 22 March 2010

Possibly The Greatest Car Advertisement Ever Written

This is off an eBay page, but due to the fact it is due to end in under 24 hours, i will just copy it directly in case people don't get to read it in time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Attention Teenage Drug Dealers and Low Life & Oxygen Thieves.

If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.

A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.

Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.

Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.

To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?

I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.

For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.
If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.

The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.

For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?

Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.

Nuff said, innit."

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Seagull Snapped Up Close On Google Streetview

Google Streetview fans have once again managed to find an amazing picture. This seagull, whose true identity has yet to be found out, was caught by one of the camera's.


Following previous news on the Norwegian scuba divers chasing away the Google teams with fish spears (Here) we now have the next instalment with a seagull getting in the way.

He appears to be eating something tasty, as he flew into the direct path of a camera as it was driving around the country.

Insane or what?

Friday, 19 March 2010

It Takes Longer To Drive The LA Marathon Than Run It

Ok, this this is pretty much a random fact more than a bit of news. Either way, this Sunday we see the 26 mile LA marathon taking place.


The winner of this race will be hoping to achieve this in under 2 hours, which is a pretty standard time to run a marathon in.

However, some guy thought it'd be interesting to see if they could drive around the route in rush hour traffic faster than this. The answer? No.

It took him 2 hours and 2 minutes to drive around the 26 mile route. So basically, to get around LA in any sort of decent timing, you just need to be able to set a world record marathon pace.

Easy right?

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Parents Take 36 Hours To Realise They've Left Their Son At Restaurant

I am pretty sure Kerry Katona has a bigger chance of retaining her 'mum of the year' award than these two parents taking it off her.


Two parents took their 3 year old son to a 'Chuck E. Cheese style' restaurant to celebrate his 3rd birthday. Which considering he probably wont remember it, was quite a nice thing for them to do.

However, they then left the restaurant without him, both parents thinking that either the other one had the child, or that the grandmother had him. Yet neither of them seemed to question how he would've got to the grandmother. Excuses if you ask me.

However, one nice restaurant employee noticed the child had been left, and so called the police who took him into care for the night. It took the parents a whole 36 hours later before the rang up the restaurant to see where their son was.

Terrible parents if there ever were any.



Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Man Uses His Penis To Assault A Female Police Officer

Marium Varinauskas, 28 (Pictured), is a Lithuanian man living in Scotland at the moment, and boy is he having fun there...


Last November, quite a while ago I admit, his girlfriend called the police to complain about him being drunk. Seems a pretty standard thing to do.

However, when the police officer arrived, he tried to strike her in the head with his penis. Luckily she got out of the way of it.

The man was arrested either way and has now been fined £600 for the incident. The man claims to not remember doing any of this, but has accepted the police officer's version of events.

I mean, why would she lie?

Tip Jar From Starbucks Containing $25 Stolen In Daring Raid

Ok, I will be honest, daring raid isn't quite what happened. But still story poses some very interesting questions.

So the story. A man was going through a Starbuck's drive through. As he order was being processed, the cashier turned his back and the man swiped the tip jar from the drive through window.

The cashier didn't notice this happen, as his back was obviously turned, but the car behind him noticed it, and took down the cars licence plate. This car was caught up in a marijuana arrest earlier in the year so we can probably assume it was a drug related theft. Surprise Surprise.

So the questions. Why would you leave the tip jar in arm's reach of the cars. i mean, yes people need to put money in, but surely if they wanted to leave a tip they could hand it to the cashier personally. Secondly, how did they know there was $25 in it? Just a random guess I expect.

Full Story Here

Guy Drops A TV On The Head Of His Wife's Lover

William Hill, 48 is currently being held by the Porter County Jail for what the police are calling aggravated battery and domestic battery. I would call it a guy completely flipping out.


His wife was cheating on him, which i guess happens an awful lot these days. I'd say getting a punch in the face, whilst not very nice, is probably deserved.

However, Mr Hill didn't think this was sufficient. When he went round to the motel where his wife and lover were getting at it, he dragged him out of bed and started to beat on him.

As his wife tried to pull him off, he began hitting her, which is disgusting in itself. Then finally, he took the motel TV and dropping it on the guys head, rending him unconscious on the floor.

Moral: don't cheat

Monday, 15 March 2010

Stroke Victim Conned Into Buying Ten Mobile Phone Contracts

David Stopher, 59 isn't having a great time at the moment. Having recently suffered a stroke, he is now having problems saying no to people. Now most people would find this slightly amusing at best, but wouldn't take advantage.


Salesmen however, found him the perfect prey.

One salesman found him very easy to sell a mobile phone contract to, and then decided to tell his friends, who all subsequently called him.

This resulted him being sold TEN mobile phone contracts, and has now been left £2,700 is debt from these alone.

6 of these contracts were sold to him by the mobile company three, who have cancelled his contracts, refunded his money and said they will stop making the calls. Bit of justice in the world i guess.

UK Supermarket Has To Re-Brand It's Fat Balls

UK Supermarket, ASDA (owned by WalMart) currently offers a rather amusing product on its shelves. Fat Balls. These are essentially a treat for birds, made up of rolls of fat and seeds. Quite appropriately named if you ask me.


However, ASDA has recently began to notice people emerging from their pet aisle with some what of a grin on their faces. This is obviously not what ASDA is intending to do. They want to sell serious products, and not make people laugh.

Therefore ASDA are considering re-branding the product and changing the name to something more appropriate.

Only last year they had to move their 'Cock Soup', a Jamaican delicacy onto the top shelf, as people complained that it was somewhat of a rude name.

Hopefully someone will now make a Facebook group to save 'Fat Balls'. I would join that.

Friday, 12 March 2010

Wife Runs Over her Husband Twice With A 4x4

Terry Telford, 69 was recently admitted to hospital with what would be described as moderate injuries, after he became a victim of what can only be described as 'women drivers'.


All sexism aside, his wife does nothing to help the stereotype of women being bad drivers. Upon reversing her 4x4 out of the drive she hit her husband and knocked him down.

Then not realising what she had done, she then drove forwards, back over him for a second time, to see what it was. Essentially running over the poor man twice.

Luckily the police are treating this as an accident, and it is just a case of another bad driver. Bit unlucky though for Mr Telford.

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

4 Teens Facing 1 Year In Jail For Throwing Snowballs

There are two completely different sides to this story, so I will tell you them both in turn.


The first. Four friends from the Bronx, 3 of which are pictured, were playing about in the snow. They were throwing snowballs about, as children do, and then one accidentally hit a person on the leg in the distance.

Now rather than taking this lightly, the man flipped out, pulled out his gun and threatened the kids, calling for police backup and then arresting them.

The second side. An off duty police man is walking along the street, when numerous snow balls hit him in his back. He then continues walking on but is then called names such as a 'bitch'. He then calming calls for backup, and declares himself to be an off duty police man. Once backup has arrived the 4 children are then arrested.

However, whichever story you believe, the police are attempting the prosecute the kids with up to 1 year in jail, and the kids are lodging a potential $10million law suit against the NYPD.

Lovely.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Wichita Man Buys Crack Cocaine With Monopoly Money

This is both unusual and stupid at the same time. A man from Wichita a few weeks abo bought hundreds of dollars worth of crack cocaine, yet he paid for it with monopoly money. Now this is the stupid part. I expect drug dealers don't always have the best education, but accepting that money is just daft.


Now the unusual part. This crime became apparent when the man was pulled over in a routine traffic stop a few weeks alter, bleeding from the head. Why was he? because the drug dealer had caught up with him and beaten him up with his handgun.

So the lesson to be learnt here, don't buy drugs with monopoly money!

Monday, 8 March 2010

Good Samaritan Charged £5 For Disposal Of Dead Cat

Sarah-Jayne Pitt, 25 (pictured) is a nice woman. I have decided this already. She owns 6 cats, and is a trainee solicitor. Ok, so 6 cats may be a bit excessive, but she still seems very nice.


As she was walking along the street, she found a dead cat at the side of the road. Obviously being a cat lover herself she couldn't leave it there, although she claimed it was stiff, and so obviously many people before her had ignored it and walked on by.

After taking some advice from friends she was told to take it down to the local vets. Obviously being pushed for time due to her job, she gave the task of disposing of the cat to her sister and father.

They went down to the local vets, and because the cat wasn't micro chipped, and therefore they couldn't trace the owner, they were told they would have to pay the £12 disposal fee. Now they obviously argued, and argued well, because they got over a 50% reduction, and were only forced to pay £5.

What would happen if they didn't pay, they would have to take the dead cat back home with them. Pretty disgusting if you ask me, charging people for doing good deeds.

Police Cruiser Left Unlocked And Running. Guess What Happened?


You know this is the sort of thing that happens on tv all the time. Someone gets out of their car and doesn't lock it. Now when i see this happen, i think to myself, surely the cops in real life don't do this. Surely they are given some sort of training that says lock your car before you run off and chase bad guys. Apparently not.


A police sergeant working for the New Carrollton police did exactly what every cop shouldn't. Whilst helping another officer serve arrest warrants, not only did he leave his car unlocked, he also left the keys in the ignition with the engine running.

Whilst the car was unlocked, a man then jumped into it and drove off with it. It was found an hour later with nothing missing, which is incredibly lucky for the cop in question. Still, what an idiot.

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Snorting Coke Off Cocktail Waitress' Shoulder Costs $3.5m

Nicole Slama (Pictured) is a student in Manhatten, and like any student she wanted to earn a bit of extra money. Hearing that cocktail waitress' got great tips she got a job in a bar. In this job on her first night she made about $500 in tips, so it was obviously a good choice.


However, the bar had a back office, which had a bit of a reputation for staff having sex in it and doing cocaine. Nicole's boss (also pictured) then started offering her coke, which she refused, and eventually asked if he could do coke off her.

He wanted to do it off her ass, but she refused. Then he tried to do it off her breast, which she also refused, eventually letting him snort it off her shoulder. After which she ran and called the police.

She is now however suing him in a $3.5m sexual harassment lawsuit. The guy probably deserves it, but this is certainly one way to pay yourself through uni.

A Website Will Dump Your Girlfriend For You For Only $10

Bradley Laborman, 35 feels that he has currently launched a valuable service to the world. His wesbite, "Idump4u.com" is a service being offered to the world, where he will take it upon himself to dump your boyfriend or girlfriend for you, for only $10.


Having previously himself been dumped a lot, he felt he had the experience necessary to offer his skills to the people. In a world where everyone is in relationships they don't want to be in, Bradley will come in and save the day, offering them a way out for an affordable price.

Whilst many people may see this is slightly cruel on the people who are dumped, many people will also find it hilarious.

Saturday, 6 March 2010

41 Year Old Teacher Sends Revealing Photo's To Student

This is just another one of those same old stories. They seem to be happening all too often i guess. Melinda Dennehy, 41 decided to send 4 sexy photo's of herself to a 15 year old student at her school.


The boy, like any boy his age i imagine, was more than happy to receive these, and so then proceeded to forward them around all his friends. Which lets be honest, we can't blame him for that.

The teacher apparently kissed the boy twice on separate occasions at school, and also continuously sent him sexy texts and stuff.

Don't quite know if it ever went further than that though. Either way, she has been ordered to stay away form anyone under 16 for the foreseeable future.

Friday, 5 March 2010

67 Year Old Woman Calls 911 For Cigarettes

This story is about as stupid as it seems. Moira Williams, 67, was arrested this morning at 3:15am on a count of mischief.


She basically got drunk and called the police asking for them to go to the store and buy her some cigarettes. Now the police, being reasonable and used to drunk people, told her to stop being so daft and stop calling unless it was an emergency.

This pursued for a number of phone calls, which i wouldn't have tolerated any more than one, and then eventually she was arrested.

Good luck getting all your cigarette needs in the future Moira

Man's Stolen Laptop Is Found Filled With Child Pornography

George Lewis is just like any other man really, to an extent. He was the victim of a horrible crime. The home burglary. That's correct, someone went into his home, invaded his personal space and stole his possessions, most notably, his laptop.


Like any good citizen he obviously reported it stolen. However, the laptop in question ended up in a pawn shop, and as ever, it was being wiped and cleared of all data before re-sale.

However, it was upon this that the owner of the pawn shop discovered child pornography on the laptop, and so called the police.

Through tracing the serial numbers it was traced back to Mr Lewis, who will now be prosecuted. So there's your lesson to be learned. If your illegal materials are stolen, don't report them missing.

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Switzerland To Market Extra Small Condoms For 12 Year Olds

Thats right, there is now the perfect product on the market for all those parents who think "i want my 12 year old boy to have sex, but i am worried the condom will be too big for him".


Even though the official age of consent in Switzerland is still 16, some form of Swiss government research has found that 12-14 year olds aren't using enough protection whilst having sex. This obviously must be because the condoms don't fit, rather than the fact they're 12 years old and don't really have an idea about safe sex.

Regardless, now some new 'Hotshot' condoms will be released, with a 4.5cm diameter, smaller than the standard 5.2cm diameter. Due to the fact sex in 12 year olds has increased massively since the 1990's this is obviously a great idea...

Girl Plans To Celebrate Her Birthday By Shooting 29 Classmates

A Missouri teenager has been arrested after her birthday plot was uncovered. The girl had planned to celebrate her birthday by climbing onto the roof of her school, and shooting 29 of her classmates.

The police went round to her house, and found the list containing all 29 names of people she intended to kill, and also a selection of guns.

The girl had originally posted a picture of herself with a high powered rifle on her Facebook page, which is where the police were originally alerted to the potential threat. This become much more serious after they went to her house.

She had planned to enlist the help of some of her school mates to try take out the chosen 29. So there is a lesson to learn here, do anger your classmates, else you'll end up on a hit list.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Traffic Cop Slaps Tickets On Flooded Cars

This guy has got to be possibly one of the harshest you will ever meet. In the UK a notorious river burst its banks recently, and so 3 cars parked very close to it inevitably were flooded.


The cars, too dangerous to reach were obviously just left there, as they were far from worth risking your life for. The water managed to seep into the cars, and so the interiors of many of them were ruined.

However, once the water began to subside, a parking inspector was walking by and wasted no time at all in slapping tickets on them, because they were parked on double yellow lines.

The parking attendant now claims that he never knew that the cars had been flooded, but how is it possible to be oblivious to a flood. At least a council spokeswoman has said the tickets will be cancelled, if they can provide proof their cars were flooded, which shouldn't be too hard.

However, if the traffic officer wasn't such a fool, this wouldn't have happened to begin with.

Two Russian Directors Boil To Death In Plunge Pool

Now i know what you are thinking, a plunge pool is cold, it is used to cool yourself down, how on earth could you boil in one? Well, these guys managed to do so.


The two Russians, one a director of an old peoples home, and the other a director of a residential home for people with psychiatric problems, were in a sauna just chilling out i presume. They then decided they wanted to cool down so jumped into the plunge pool.

However, what is being described as an error by one of the men meant the plunge pool had been heated to boiling point. Therefore when they jumped in they literally boiled to death.

A brave third man tried to pull them out, but was unable to, i presume due to the insane heat of the water.

Man Carves His Name Into His Girlfriends Chest

Gone are the days when people carve their names into a tree to profess their love for each other. It now seems they are doing it into each other. Although this seems to be far from at her will.


Michael Welliver, 31, apparently became very annoyed at the tattoo his girlfriend got on her ass. Something which i can't imagine many guys would complain about.

He then insisted that he be allowed to cut it off with a MEAT CLEAVER, or if he wasn't to then be allowed to carve his name on her chest. The woman, obviously frightened for her life then proceeded to let the man carve "I luv Mike Welliver" with a pocket knife on the upper part of her breast.

She eventually managed to leave the house and then the police were called and could use the photo's Mr Welliver took on his phone as evidence against him.

Pretty sick guy if you ask me

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

5th Grader Brings Fruity Pebble Treats Laced With Pot To School

On monday a 5th grader brought into school some fruity pebble treats laced with marijuana. Now i have personally never heard of these, but from what i gather they are a cereal, and to make the treats they have been added to a cake. Correct me if i am wrong?


So the child brought them into school, knowing fully well what they contained and began sharing them around his friends. A few people obviously didn't agree though, and so eventually the teachers and the police were told.

The 5th grader claimed to have go them off his sister, who is turn got them from a medical marijuana shop. Whether or not she had a legitimate reason to have them, who knows?

House Burns Down After DIY Cardboard Roof Insulation Is Installed

Police and fire services were called out to a house fire in Redland City on Tuesday morning. The house, which went completely up in flames, was thought to have been started by a cigarette butt being dropped.


Now usually, you wouldn't think this would lead to a fire would you? However, the man had installed some DIY insulation, by putting cardboard down everywhere as a type of insulation.

Now the man gets bonus points for being green, but is still pretty much an idiot after installing cardboard everywhere, especially in a smokers home.

Man Reverses Into A Police Cruiser After Being Pulled Over For DUI

A 29 year old Bremerton man has been arrested for DUI. He was caught doing 38mph in a 25mph zone, so naturally the lights came on and the man was pulled over.


However, once the man had been pulled over, his car then proceeded to roll backwards and crash into the police cruiser. It was only estimated that it happened at 5mph, but still, you have to be pretty stupid to crash into a police car after they pull you over.

He was recorded having .10 blood alcohol level, which isn't that much over the .8 limit, but over the limit nevertheless. He admitted to having a few drinks, and will now be prosecuted for driving under the influence.

Monday, 1 March 2010

Parents Kill Themselves And Children Over Fears Of Global Warming

Well, the most miraculous part of the story is yet to come. Francisco Lotero, 56 and Miriam Coletti, shot themselves, their 7 month old daughter and their two year old son in what police presume was a suicide pact.


The reason behind the pact, due to fears of global warming. Ridiculous I know. However, the 7 month old girl didn't actually die. She was left with a bullet in her chest for 3 days before a neighbour called the police.

She is now recovering in hospital, and lets hope she makes a full recovery, after having possible the worst parents in history.